we made out on top of his cat.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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