i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
