I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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