I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I think my moral compass just broke
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
