well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
