from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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