just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
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