its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
