Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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