Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize