oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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