I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
