my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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