If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
