His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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