Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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