She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.â€
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