Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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