I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
