Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
