Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
