jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
