New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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