just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
