Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
