how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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