You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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