hell yes lets make some ravioli
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
