honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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