six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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