My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
