I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
