He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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