oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
