We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
