the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The power of my boobs compel you
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
