god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize