My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i think i have two assholes
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
