quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize