she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
