A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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