He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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