Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
