ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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