Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
