atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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