I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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