Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
