Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
