Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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