Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
