Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
