Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
