That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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