Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
