What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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