My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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