I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
