He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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