Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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