he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
