Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
