too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
