At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
