My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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