the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
