I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
